CRIME SHOW CRIME

An egregious thing happened last night. It was six-thirty and spouse and I had finished our healthiest meal of the week (under-cooked salmon, leftover green beans, pre-made mashed potatoes and Boston cream cake) and, left over because I had failed to serve it to company on the weekend). Having had enough of the Trump melodrama, I clicked to Amazon Prime and a jolly little series I'd found. It's called WAKING THE DEAD.” I am okay with death and murder and blood. I’m a big fan of police procedurals and all kinds of mystery, from cozy to grim so I was not fazed by the shot of a lone gunman in three-story garage who massacred a dozen or more people on the street in the opening scene. The problem came when the cold case unit re-examined the case of the convicted murderer seven years later and, in a flashback, showed him romping on the heath with a golden retriever. The dog bounced off into the woods and there was a blind gunshot. I felt a clutch of fear and glanced at spouse who was, of course, asleep. A moment later we, the viewers, were treated to a vision of a dead golden retriever. I repeat, A DEAD GOLDEN RETRIEVER. Spouse woke, briefly, when he heard my outraged shriek. In the shock of the incident, the dog owner picked off a dozen people from a third story perch and, you know what? I did not blame him. It’s bad enough that dogs have short life spans (including the one in the television show who, while not really murdered, is no doubt dead by now of natural causes since the show was produced in 2003.) It is completely unnecessary to remind us about this evolutionary mistake. Dead dogs are out. Verboten. Unacceptable. In fact, if the show's writers had wanted to redeem themselves, they could have woken the dead dog. I am not alone in my conviction on this. I am currently reading a writing process book called Save the Cat Writes a Novel. The title comes from a universal truth which is that readers want to root for a hero and if that hero is danger of becoming unlikable, the easiest fix is to have him or her rescue a cat. I don't think it's too much of a jump to apply the same thing to golden retrievers. Always save the dog. I supposed I could send a copy of the book to Britbox. Or maybe just a strongly worded tweet: KILL A PET, LOSE A FAN #Nomoredeaddogs!!!!!