RALLY ROUND YE OLDE ARTIFICIAL TREE

Apparently you are never too old (or too depressed) to learn lessons from a family Christmas. Of course some should have been self-explanatory. I figured out I’d overdone the gifts when, on December 31, I wrote a three-figure check to UPS to package and mail the ride-on steam shovel, skate board, magic castle, etc. Solution: Don’t spoil the grandchildren. Another was in the disappointment of learning that neither daughter nor daughter-in-law nor anyone else in the family wants my monogramed silver and Royal Copenhagen dinnerware (inherited from in-laws) or the 1840 secretary and the Victorian sofa inherited from grandparents, or the watercolor set-designs done by my late brother in the 1980s. Solution: Read “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.” And then there was the most serious issue. Uncertainty. Remember, said one child, life is not easy. There are unpleasant times ahead that have to be faced. Solution: Practice meditation. Other highlights of what may have been our last Christmas at the home we’ve lived in for 35 years: Julian, who just turned five loved the Minion comforter I got for his bed, dismissed the balance board I bought and wrapped (I already have that, Nana. I don’t need it), laughed his way through an indoor obstacle course with his four-year-old cousin, operated a tree-loving drone out in the yard with Uncle Ben and surprised me by being able to read Toby’s collar which says “Best Dog Ever.” Abby, four-and-a-half, who tore the (supposedly) permanent ribbon off the outdoor light display then apologized to me, played school with Uncle Ben (sending him to the office to “think about it,”) curled up next to me to watch the first half hour of “Home Alone: Lost in New York,” told me sternly that I had fed Casey (dog) too many treats and she had thrown up all night, held her sister’s hand at the playground and, on Christmas night, yelled, “Nannie, Nannie, Elliott is eating Toby’s food!” (Toby, a picky mini-goldendoodle, gets his kibble served in a round plastic contraption with little covers. I mean, in all fairness to Elliott, it looks just like a kid’s game.) Molly, two-and-a-half, asked for time alone with me to watch Baby Shark and Rock-a-bye baby on the upstairs computer, put her shoes away in a drawer and cleaned up after Play-Doh (she is very neat…must get that from my mother) painstakingly painted a rock in a rainbow of colors and gave Grandad a hug and a kiss good night. Elliott, almost two, alternately loving and fearing the two dogs, toddled around amusing himself, mostly by “reading” entire books by himself, looking for Abby, and finally, finally consenting to watch several episodes of his favorite show, Peppa Pig, with ME! There were other notable moments, like when I discovered mouse droppings under the Christmas tree skirt and when I realized that some of my carefully chosen gifts had never made it out of the box. But there were many more great times, like some rare time alone with my beloved daughter-in-law and the fact that the kids either prepared or paid for nearly all of our meals and listening to the guys talk about the Spiderman Movie and watch the Cleveland Browns lose to Baltimore. I have learned in recent years that life can be unexpectedly hard and the road zigs when you think it will zag but these family times seem to make everything worthwhile. The memories will sustain me for a long time. I hope the same is true for all my friends. I’ll close with the words of someone much funnier than I. “Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.” – Erma Bombeck